As a Scalar Heart Connection practitioner, I find myself hesitating when the emotion “Needy” comes up in a session. The client who comes to you with a problem is not generally in the mood to hear they are ‘just being needy.’ Alice O. Howell, in her book “Jungian Symbolism in Astrology,” shares the story of Thetis, the mother of Achilles, and how in her effort to make her son invincible dipped him in the river Styx. To do this, she had to hold him upside down by the heals, which left them dry and unprotected and ‘open’ at that spot.
We all have ‘open’ spots in our armor. Life’s experiences have a way of finding our vulnerabilities. The winds of unpleasantness rush in through our open spots. We become vulnerable by our repressed emotions, causing us to process certain experiences negatively rather than letting them glance off our otherwise impervious armor. Once pierced, we turn the experience against ourselves like a spear reaching to our soft underbelly. When this happens, we become needy, like needing medical attention.
We are needy because there is something we lack. If our purpose in life is to find wholeness within ourselves and self-acceptance, then it is natural for us to seek our missing parts in others. Howell explains that we tend to fill our lacking with someone else’s surplus through relationships. When we rely on others to provide what we can’t or won’t do for ourselves then our personal growth is arrested. In time, one or both partners may feel unappreciated or otherwise subtly empty inside. Too often this leads to divorce and each person is forced to move forward, again towards wholeness.
Ideally, if both partners become conscious of their needs and learn to help each other they can both grow on their own and in turn meet each other on another level of mutual respect, fulfillment and love.
In the Scalar Heart Connection process, when “Needy” comes up for a client it is a clue that their heart is wanting them to look at the spear in their armor. The emotion of ‘Needy” comes up in the Heart Chakra. It is usually followed by a Negative Mind Statement around feeling trapped, crying inside, feeling unloved, needing recognition or approval, the inability to receive praise or love, feeling disappointed by others, or experiencing a broken heart.
The good news is that the client’s heart will direct them to the chink in their armor, how it got there, and what they need in order to begin to process the experience in a heartful and positive manner.
Now, when “Needy” comes up for a client, I am no longer uncomfortable, but eager to see how their heart leads them to greater personal growth and awareness.
 Howell, Alice O., Jungian Symbolism in Astrology (The Theosophical Publishing House, 1987), p. 165.